Tola sat on the kitchen counter with blood dripping down her wrist. This felt good. The cut stung as the tears mixed with the blood. What had she done. I'm a Nigerian girl. An African girl. I shouldn't cut my wrist like these white girls. If her parents ever found out, it was off to church for delieverance. It was always church; couldn't they see that this wasn't a matter of church. It was because of them, because of her friends, because of the guy she loved so much that didn't even care. Tola sat on the counter waiting for the overdose to take effect. She had taken an overdose of advil and some of her anti depressant drug, a cupful of brandy and she had cut her wrist.

'This shouldn't be so slow. What else do people do? Jump off the roof?'

That would barely be possible seeing as they lived in a bunglaow.

'Maybe i should lie in the bathtub and turn up the water. They always seem to be doing that.

Tola felt that if she died, nobody would miss her. Yes, they might cry for a couple days but then they would forget her. Life would move on without her. It would have to. Tola willed it to go faster. She wanted to die already... no time for second thoughts. The image flashed in her head again- her so called best friend sleeping with the one guy she had ever loved. They guy she gave up her precious virginity for. They didn't have the courtesy to do it somewhere private, maybe she wouldn't have found them, maybe she wouldn't be doing this right now. No! they were in her bedroom.. on her bed. Tola popped one more advil in her mouth and took a sip of vodka this time.

"Tola"

'Shit! yes mum'

no one owas suppossed to be home yet, no one was supposed to find her for another hour.

"Tola did you wash th..

Her mum's eyes moved from Tola's wrist to the blood stained knife, to the empty drug bottle.

'I'm sorry mu..

Tola slumped to the ground.


"Madam you are very lucky you brought her here on time. we have managed to pump most of the drugs out of her stomach and she's now stable. However she lost a lot of blood from the cuts on her wrist."

Tola's mum, dad, and four brothers were by her bedside.

'Kini me o she fun omo yi eh, what didn't i do for her." Her mum cried occasionally calling on Jesus.

'No, no, no, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I'm supposed to be dead. I wasn't supposed to make it.'

Tola could hear her mum crying, she could hear her dad trying to console her, and her brothers, well they were probably just hungry.. they always were. Seeing this made Tola more depressed. This was not the way she planned it. They were supposed to find her, cry a little bit, bury her and it would all be over. Instead, they were all here with her in the hospital, waiting to take her home when she was better, waiting for people to start gossiping about their daughter who tried to take her life. .. Olurunmaje! God forbid! Tola didn't want it this way. She didn't want to live either. How would she explain to her mother the reason for her attempted suicide.

'God please, let me die'.

beep..beep..beep..

"Doctor, nurse, someone.. my daughter!"

"i'm very sorry sir, but your'e daughter is in a coma. She could be in it form anything from 2 weeks to 2 years. I'm very sorry...."